Infertility and Tabloids

Two random and perhaps unrelated topics. However, since I have a leisurely life these days, and I sometimes end up watching The View (never on purpose, though, I might add-Whoopie annoys the crap out of me), I came across 2 interesting topics. The first involves the reliability of the top selling tabloids. If you're like me, you may sometimes stand in line at the grocery store, contemplating which tabloids, if any to purchase for your own guilty pleasure. I usually end up buying US Weekly, if anything because they have great pics of celebrities (always my favorite feature), but I have always thought of US as the most reliable for some reason. Well, it turns out that I am right! The View did a rundown of which tabloids have come out as the most reliable. Here are the results (1 being most reliable to 5 being the least reliable).

1. US Weekly
2. Life & Style
3. In Touch
4. OK Magazine
5. Star

You can thank me the next time you have to make this all-too-important decision.

And now onto the second topic. If you are a Guliana and Bill Rancic fan like me, you will want to DVR or watch The View tomorrow (Friday, 10/1). I was first interested in them because I just think their relationship is adorable. Kyle and I got pretty into watching their reality show and still like to call each other "Rancic" on occasion (inside joke-you gotta watch the show). However, I became even more intrigued watching the show once they started to discuss their desire to get pregnant and then their subsequent infertility issues. Over the last few months I haven't kept up with them as much, but discovered that they actually had a miscarriage and continue to struggle with infertility. I remember finding comfort in their struggles as they seemingly went through infertility issues at the same time we did. Tomorrow they will be discussing the miscarriage and infertility on The View (for a preview, look here). I hope and pray that their struggles end soon, and they are blessed with a healthy baby. On a side note, I also hope, by some insane miracle, to have her body after having these babies. Oh, and her wardrobe. And hair.

Happy "View"-ing! :)

A Little Fall Love

Yes, it's been about a week since my last post. Not that I think anyone has lost any sleep over this, I've just been tired, lazy, consumed with trying my best to have everything ready for these babies, slightly in denial that it could be right around the corner, and a little burned out on following/creating blog posts lately. Don't worry. I'm sure this is only temporary. I also may forget what a blog is altogether once S & C arrive. However, what is the one thing that can always inspire me? F.O.O.D. I somewhat feel like a newborn lately in that all I do is eat, sleep, nap, and pee. I don't feel guilty about this at all since I will probably not have time to do any of those things in several more weeks. I've also been slightly saddened seeing all of these cute fall decorating posts lately since I have no front porch of my own to don with pumpkins, no front door for a fall wreath, and no living room of my own to burn a pumpkin-scented candle. My mom does a great job with her fall decor, but I definitely have fall decorating envy. Yes, I do realize I will have a fabulous house of my own all too soon to seasonaly decorate as I wish (update and pics on this soon to come).
Ok, back to food. So this morning I was blessed with this insanely delicious-sounding recipe to reignite my love of fall (Thanks, Mary!). I am super excited to make and eat this entire batch. Especially since my sweet mom just bought some decaf pumpkin spice coffee for me. These two together might be heaven. If you venture to make this amazing recipe, I'd love to hear your reviews!

**Update: I made these yesterday, and they are delicious. Word of warning: they are a labor of love. It took about an hour and a half to make these start to finish. I'll let you decide if it's worth it. For what it's worth, we started out with 24 muffins at the Ball House and are down to about 6!


Pumpkin and Cream Cheese Muffins

8 ounce(s) cream cheese

3 eggs

2 1/2 cup(s) sugar

2 1/2 cup(s) flour

1/4 cup(s) pecans, roughly chopped

3 tablespoon(s) butter, melted

2 1/2 teaspoon(s) cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon(s) salt

2 teaspoon(s) baking powder

1/4 teaspoon(s) baking soda

1 1/4 cup(s) solid-packed pumpkin

1/3 cup(s) vegetable oil

1/2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract

Directions

Heat oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly coat two 12-cup standard muffin tins with oil and set aside.

Mix the cream cheese, 1 egg, and 3 tablespoons sugar in a small bowl and set aside. Toss 5 tablespoons sugar, 1/2 cup flour, pecans, butter, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon together in a medium bowl and set aside. Combine the remaining sugar, flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and remaining cinnamon in a large bowl. Lightly beat the remaining eggs, pumpkin, oil, and vanilla together in a medium bowl. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture, pour the pumpkin mixture into the well, and mix with a fork just until moistened. Evenly divide half of the batter among the muffin cups. Place two teaspoonfuls of cream cheese filling in the center of each cup and fill with the remaining batter. Sprinkle some of the pecan mixture over the top of each muffin and bake until golden and a tester, inserted into the muffin center, comes out clean -- 20 to 25 minutes. Cool on wire racks.

 

Infertility re-visited

So this little blog of mine initially started out as something a bit different than what it has evolved into today (which, let's be honest, does it really have a "theme"?). I had always been hesitant to start a blog because I didn't believe I had anything worth writing about that others would enjoy reading. However, when Kyle and I discovered that our road to getting pregnant may be longer than we had expected, I was flooded with a million emotions. I truly just wanted a place to vent my anger, frustrations, sadness, hope, etc., and I really didn't care if anyone read it. I sent the link to my close friends and family, and they were so supportive and excited that they had a way to keep up with what was going on with us and our journey as so many of them felt bad constantly asking what the status of things were. So this leads me to another component of our journey to becoming pregnant. I was definitely not one to stand on the roof tops and shout to complete strangers that we were struggling to get pregnant, but I never lied about our situation to anyone, for several reasons. For one, I'm a terrible liar. There was no way I could have put on a happy face to my friends and given a casual answer when they inquired when Kyle and I wanted to start trying for a family. And the times that I did, it somehow made our situation worse, as though it were something to be ashamed of or secretive about. And I hated the way that felt. Secondly, I wanted people's prayers and support. I believe in the power of prayer, and ultimately, I believe, is a huge reason why we were able to finally conceive. I never wanted sympathy from people, just prayer. And lastly, and probably most importantly, I wanted my friends and maybe even their friends to know that I was here to support them should they ever have to endure a similar journey. I was blessed with someone who helped guide me through my journey, and I desperately wanted to be the same for any other woman dealing with infertility. And, interestingly enough, I have been able to be that person for a few other women.
So, why do I bring all of this up when clearly infertility is no longer an issue for me? It is something that I will forever hold dear to my heart. There are millions of women every day all over the world who feel the hurt and loss of not being about to conceive a child. I know firsthand how it feels. And while Kyle and I had only just put a toe in the water of infertility before discovering we were pregnant, many women go through years and years of anguish before finding their own miracles. I wouldn't change a single thing about our journey. Earlier this year, I would have thought I was crazy for saying that. However, looking back at the 10 months or so we endured of wondering why we couldn't get pregnant, I realized that God had some incredibly important lessons to teach me through it, and it was really a beautiful, perfect journey. And I am a much stronger, more faith-filled person because of it.
I know there are people reading this blog that I do not know, or do not know very well. Initially this made me uncomfortable because I have shared a lot of personal thoughts and feelings on here, and I didn't want random people just creeping around. I have even very seriously contemplated making it private, and may someday do so. However, I am going to try to stick to my initial plan of being open and honest about my life, and I hope if you do follow this blog, that you will officially become a follower, so I can be aware of who is reading these random posts.

I'm thankful to have finally realized the truth behind the name of this blog. So, in conclusion, I'll leave you with this... ;)
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,


And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.


I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

A little controversy to spice things up...

So it seems like in the last month or so, I have been indundated with fascinating movies/documentaries about the controversial Mormon religion. I have always been (and really, who isn't?) fascinated with extreme forms of religions (or what most would call-cults). Before I dig into this, let me just say that some of my most favorite people I have known or know are Mormons. I also realize that the majority of the "crazy" stuff we see about the religion pertains to the fundamentalist or extreme radical Mormons. I also, at one point in my life, truly pursued what the religion itself was really about as I had a very close, long-term relationship with a guy that was Mormon. I wanted to give it a fair shot before deciding that the relationship may not ever go any further. And, upon a LOT of studying and prayer, I decided that I could never fully believe in the religion, and there were too many questions I felt had no real answer, or the real answer was hidden from me in some form. To me, any religion that "hides" things from non-members is not something our God would endorse. Nonetheless, I realize that saying this may offend anyone reading this who is a member of the church. I don't apologize for my beliefs, so I guess you should perhaps stop reading at this point if you are indeed offended.

With that said, I have thoroughly enjoyed this recent overflow of Mormon entertainment. My friend, Mary, first told me about The Mormon Proposition. This is a documentary (if you wish to see it, you can rent it On Demand underneath all of the other movies section). It was an incredibly intense look at the Proposition 8 vote that happened in California, and how much the Mormon church was involved in seeing it overturned. Moreover, how secretive and shady the church was in its involvement. The idea of gay marriage is in direct contradiction of the Mormon belief of what happens in heaven. I have to say I was blown away at the horrendous and drastic measures the church has taken against homosexuals. This movie is well worth the price of the rental. And, in my opinion, a good reminder of how Jesus would never treat any individual.

If you are looking for some good sister wife entertainment, The 19th Wife is a fabulous lifetime movie (and who doesn't love a good lifetime movie?) centered around the fundamentalist Mormon communitites, and all of the horrific brainwashing that takes place in one of these. Special thanks to another Mormon-fascinated friend of mine for informing me about this movie! It has an excellent and intense plot. It's also based upon a true story from the 1800's (I think) written by one of Brigham Young's wives. And lucky you, I just discovered today that you can watch the full movie here! So if you have a few hours to indulge, you won't be sorry you did.

And, last but not least, the TV Show I am looking forward to more than any other TV Show ever-Sister Wives on TLC. As soon as you are able to, you should set your DVR to record this show at 9 pm on Sunday, September 26th. All I can say is that it looks to be everything you want in a reality show and more. One man. Three wives. And a fourth in the works. How can this disappoint? I also must credit yet another friend for informing me about this show (gosh, I'm lucky to have so many friends to share my Mormon fascination with!).

Ok, so now that I have excited you about this controversial yet intriguing topic, I hope you enjoy these features as much as I have!

Shower Fun

This past weekend was my baby shower for all of my girlfriends (if you're counting, yes, this is the THIRD shower for the girls!). We have been incredibly blessed to have so many friends and family willing to throw such wonderful showers for us. It has been unbelievable to see so many people's generosity in helping us to prepare for these girls. We will have to buy very little when it's all said and done because of what we have been given. It has been so humbling and there is no way we could ever repay our friends and family for their kindness and generosity. It was SO great to be able to see all of my closest girlfriends for a few short hours at the shower. The hostesses did such an incredible job, and I am so unbelievably grateful for these girls and their friendships. I can't imagine life without any of you. These are just a few pictures from the shower. I wish I had taken more! 

My creative and artistically gifted sister (featured in the background) makes the most precious onesies. These are just a few she made for S & C. I cannot wait for them to wear these (and hopefully many more she will make for them). Thanks Aunt Sara!



Again, credit to Aunt Sara.

Diaper cakes and real cake. Adorable and delicious (the real cake, that is).

Oh where to begin with how much I love this group of girls. I miss seeing each of your faces at school everyday, but I know our friendships go beyond the walls of the school. SO happy I got to see all of you.

And last but not least, the greatest friends and sister a girl could ask for. I love each of you dearly and cannot wait for you all to meet the girls. I can only hope they have friends as dear as each of you someday!

I guess this means we are that much closer to meeting these sweet girls. :)

Thursday Girly Fun

It's a never ending thing for me to browse cute girl stuff. Pretty much all of these finds are things the girls may not get to wear for several years, but it never hurts to plan ahead. These are some of my favorite irresistable girl pieces right now.

Every girl needs a good strand of pearls...

...and glittery flats...

...and coordinating but not matching sun dresses...(maybe for Easter, paired with the glitter flats and pearls, but who's planning?)

and life wouldn't be complete without a ponytail rubber band ball. Coming from a house with three sisters, this would have come in handy many a time.

love these feminine little bobby pins to clip bangs back with. Mom might also be able to borrow these.

and last but not least, I would love to get S & C matching little rings like this with their birthstones on it someday.

Happy Girly Thursday! :)

A New Hobby

So today I stumbled upon a new hobby. I don't consider myself a creative, crafty person, but I have been on an endless hunt for cute head accessories for the girls (that aren't obscenely overpriced like everything I see in boutiques). Oh, and also don't look cheap, huge, or disgusting. You would think this would be a not-so-difficult task, but I must be extra picky when it comes to this stuff because they are few a far between. I LOVE anything on an alligator clip made out of felt, or something equally similar (see here or here). But who knows when S & C are going to have enough hair to hold one.

So today when I was aimlessly walking around Hobby Lobby after finding the picture frame I came to get (why does this always happen), I somehow ended up in one of the scrapbooking aisles (I currently do not even scrapbook) and came across these cute little flowery things that looked very similar to the rosettes that are on some headbands I recently ordered from etsy (see above). I got this crazy idea that I could find some elastic and somehow attach them. Well, low and behold I did find some elastic and voila! I would like to find some other elastic colors, but I am pretty pleased with these for now.
                                                                                  

Aha!

I was scouring girl headbands on etsy the other day and came across this listing. I think this is such a cute alternative to headbands/bows, etc. I find many headbands/bows, etc. darling, but sometimes a bit overused. When I saw these adorable pics...

...I instantly thought of the antique hankerchief collection I have had since I was a little girl. I can't remember the exact reason I started collecting these, but I'm fairly certain I probably came across one while antique shopping with my mom and thought they were too pretty to resist. And also because I went through several "collection" phases as a young girl (my troll doll one would have impressed just about anybody). I think I have about 15 of these hankies. You might think they serve absolutely no purpose, except to sit in a box and collect dust. However, myself, my sister, and a few friends have used these on their wedding day to carry with their bouquet. And now it looks like Sophie and Campbell might get to use these in a whole new way! I hope they are cool and chic enough to pull these off when the time comes. 

At the very least, I have a small reason to hang onto the hankies for a few more years... ;) 

Happy Birthday Canon!

Two years ago tomorrow, the sweetest little boy came into this world-my nephew, Canon Jon Michael. Until his debut, I had always secretly gotten slightly annoyed when people would go on and on about their nieces and nephews. I mean, it's just a niece or nephew, it's not like it's your kid. Now, I am officially one of those people who rambles on and on about the cute things my nephew does, how adorable he is, etc. to all of my friends and even people I don't know that well-I'm quite certain, to the point of annoyance. But I just can't help it! He truly has been the light of all of our lives, and I just can't get enough of him. His sweet smile, laugh, kisses, dance moves, endless energy and "Canon language" are enough to keep us entertained for hours on end. He has made his Aunt Roo and Uncle Toddy so unbelievably excited to meet our own litte ones. It's hard to believe that we will be able to love another kiddo as much as we love him. Canon, we have loved watching you grow and change right before our eyes and hope you always know how much we "ove" and adore you! We can't wait to see the little man you grow up to be. :)

Update

As my due date rapidly approaches, I can't help but be more and more intrigued by what these girls are going to look like. Will they look alike? Completely different? Like Kyle? Like me? Neither of us? I am DYING to know! It's hard to believe they won't be adorable by looking at the above pics. And can I just say how fashion forward my mom was by putting me in leg warmers? Let's just hope they get their hair gene from my side seeing as how Kyle was bald until he was 4. But he sure was a wittle cutie pie.

Many of you continue to ask how I'm feeling/how things are going with the pregnancy, so I thought I'd give a quick update. I am 29 weeks, and starting to feel very much pregnant with twins. I really have been pretty active throughout the day, walking several miles most days, running errands, etc. The heat of summer has worn me out somedays, forcing me to sit in the air conditioning towards the end of the day. However, this past week (mostly when I would go walking) I started to notice more contractions (not the painful kind-the stomach-tightening type) which is very normal for this stage of my pregnancy. I brought this up to my doctor the other day, and he suggested that I cut back the walking a bit since I don't need to be doing anything to risk going into pre-term labor. I also start going to see him every 2 weeks for the next 4 weeks, and then it will jump up to every week. Yikes! These girls continue to get more and more active every day. It seems like I feel them constantly kicking and moving around, which is by far the best part of being pregnant. The stretch marks have made their way onto the bottom of the belly, and I'm sure will only multiply from here on out. :) Sleeping becomes more and more difficult, and I'm pretty lucky to get 4-5 hours in a row, which isn't a huge deal since I have all day to nap whenever I want. I suppose this is another way God prepares us for the soon-to-be crazy sleeping schedule.
We are rapidly accumulating everything we will need for the girls-especially clothes! Sometimes I think I will just want to play dress-up with them all day to ensure they get to wear all of them.

I still cannot fathom what it will be like looking into their faces, and feeling the love and responsibility of caring for 2 little baby girls. I'm thrilled and petrified beyond belief.

Kyle and I continue to be so thankful for all of your prayers as we finish the last leg of this pregnancy and beyond. We know so many of you are equally as excited to meet them. :)

Good Advice

I follow this amazing, famous blog that I'm sure many of you know about and probably follow, as well. If you don't follow her, you should. Now. Not only does she have the most charming and warm sense of humor, she writes about anything and everything, and also has the most delicious recipes you've ever eaten in her "Tasty Kitchen" section of her blog. Oh, and she lives in Oklahoma! If Kyle and I ever moved back to Taloga (although I don't foresee this ever happening), I would want to be as cool of a country gal as she is.

Anyhow, she has lots of fun posts, but I thought this particular one was delightfully charming and exceptionally true. I vow to try to live by these rules as I blog from this point on. I was initially very skeptical about ever starting a blog in the first place because I truly did not think anything in my life was exciting enough for others to read about. My reasoning in the first place was to "vent" and journal about the journey of infertility. However, 2 months later that whole journey seemingly came to an end! I suppose now it's just a very random collection of cute things I find online, home decor items I desperately want, thoughts about impending motherhood, and any other thing I think someone else would like reading. I'm sure in 2 or so months, anyone who cares to read this blog will be inundated with some pictures of some cute twin girls. Oh wait, who am I kidding? This blog will probably cease to exist upon their arrival.

In addition to these great blog guidelines, I would also add a 12th rule to this list: If the point of any one of your blog posts is to attempt to make others envy your life in any way, no one probably wants to read it (and you know if you do this or not). Please let the blogger writing this post know if any of her posts become too much cheeziness to handle.

Thanks and happy blogging! :)

Full House

I stumbled upon this blog not too long ago when I was googling twin nurseries. This woman is a mother of twin girls AND triplet boys! If I wasn't scared to try for a third initially, I'm now officially petrified. This room she designed for her growing twin girls deserves an Oscar if they gave them out for insane decorating on a budget, thus fully eliminating the "I don't have time" excuse for everyone reading this. She did this whole room for, are you ready? $250! I can only hope to have an equally charming space for Sophie and Campbell someday. Here are a few pics...

Dads of Twins

So my sportscenter-loving husband was talking about this incredible tennis play from the U.S. Open the other day. I decided to youtube it so I could see the "Federer betweeen the legs shot" myself. And, it's pretty incredible. But what really caught my attention is what the sports announcer says right after the play-"I guess when you have twins, you don't worry about that kind of stuff." Say what? So I googled it and, low and behold...

he is a daddy of twin girls. I immediately shared this information with Kyle to reinforce that "cool guys" have daughters...especially twin daughters. Although I'm 99% certain his initial ambivalence about 2 girls has turned into excitement.

Anyways, here's to twins. :)

Fixating...

I don't know if it's pregnancy, not having a job, not having my own house to take care of, or all of the above, but lately I have had this bizarre tendency to obsess over things related to my house. I think I do this because pregnancy makes me slightly neurotic, and also because I feel like my life will be consumed by diapers, bottles, and all things baby in a few months-which will leave me with little to no time/concern for what my house looks like after we move in. And, we won't exactly have money to burn on household decorative items I want. I so desperately wish I was one of those people who is patient enough to decorate their house little by little, but I'm so not one of those people. So, consider this my "cramming session."

My recent obsession of the week has been curtains. I think that curtains really complete any room and add so much warmth. I have a tendency to be really picky when it comes to these while at the same time being somewhat economical. I don't have to tell anyone reading this that curtains add up quick. I know I will end up having some made due to awkwardly sized windows in our house (cha-ching, cha-ching). So my plan is to spread out ordering/making these over the next several months so that they are ready to hang when we move in. Crazy? I know. Here are a few ideas...

Sigh...I'm in love with these curtains for our kitchen. But, as luck would have it, they do not make one wide enough to fit the middle window. I don't know why I keep torturing myself looking at them. Since I'm thinking these will have to be made, hopefully I can find a similar fabric to this.

I really am leaning toward something pretty simple for our living room. I like the above ones (and not only because they are on sale right now at PB) in this color, ivory, or green.

And I just really like this little tie back from Ballard's. Since we are going to do something pretty neutral in the living room, I'm thinking about getting these to spice up whatever curtains we do get.

Kyle is taking the day off tomorrow (yeah!), and we plan on doing some major decision-making as far as house interior goes. So I'm sure I will be making a similar post later on about tile, faucets, carpet, or something equally as exciting.

Pray for me...

Oh, fall....

I might be wishful thinking, but hopefully it will happen soon...I dearly, dearly want fall to be here. Not only will the cooler temps make me giddy with excitement, there are just SO many things to love about the arrival of a new season, especially the upcoming one. And, let's be honest, I'm super psyched to be able to wear clothes that cover more of my body these days. :)

I was going to do a whole post and list about things that excite me about fall (pretty leaves, cardigans, pumpkin scented candles, wishing I could order everything out of the pottery barn catalog...), but then I came across this post from a blog I follow, and she so eloquently and picturesque-ly captured the reasons I'm excited.

Happy almost fall!

Judge away...

Dear pregnancy:

You take away sushi, alcohol, unpasteurized cheeses (Ok, I don't know what these are but don't think I eat them), roller coasters, sleep, advil, my sexy body (Ok, if I had one before, it would be gone), and I'm sure other things I can't think of. If you want to know the truth, some days I want someone to give me a trophy or public recognition for doing good things for my body 24/7. While pregnancy is incredible and a gift, it's also not for the faint at heart. One thing I refuse to give up, that many pregnant women would cast me off into the group of women that abuse prescription drugs and cocaine while pregnant for drinking, is coffee. More specifically, iced coffees from Starbucks. Truth be told, judgers, if you do the research, as long as you do not consume more than 300 mg of caffeine a day (2-3 cups of coffee), it is totally and completely fine (if I remembered how to "cite" a work in a research paper, I would here). But still, I've seen many a noble preggo proudly display her cup of decaf as if to show the world that she refuses to expose her fetus to the evils of caffeine. Perhaps I say all of this to make myself feel better. Perhaps you will now tell your friend about "this girl" you know that drinks (gasp) caffeinated coffee frequently while with child. But while you're doing this, I'll be at Starbucks. And a little more perky, at that.

Cheers. :)