Tina Fey

My dear friend, Mary, sent this to me today, and I just could not resist sharing. I copied this from Melody Godfred's blog. I had wanted to get her book before, but now I really want to get it. It's rare to read something that makes me pee my pants laughing, and makes me tear up at the same time. Nice work, Tina Fey!

A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child By Tina Fey


Posted on April 15, 2011 by Melody Godfred



Tina Fey Hard At Work

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.



May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.



When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.



Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.



Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.



May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.



Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.



O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.



And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.



And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.



Amen.”



-Tina Fey



(That my friends, is what you call good writing. Pick up Tina Fey’s book Bossypants for more.)

Twins in Action

This is about the extent of their interaction right now. We cannot keep Sophie on her back. She is our little rolly polly (on a side note, even though she is perfectly capable, she refuses to roll back onto her back. When she is sick of her tummy, she just cries until we roll her back. Any suggestions on how to fix this?) Every once in awhile they'll catch each other's eye and give each other a big grin. Can't wait to see how their relationship develops!

I should also note that this was completely unstaged. Sophie actually did roll over onto CJ like this!

And my personal favorite. Sophie girl L-O-V-E-S bathtime. Well, we think she does at least. She rarely smiles in the bath, but kicks her legs like crazy when she's in there, and cries the second we take her out. I think she just gets so focused on kicking that she forgets to show us how much she likes it? Campbell enjoys the bath, too. But man does Sophie know how to get those legs going. This isn't even the full extent of it! We had to move the bath from the kitchen sink to the bathtub because she would make such a huge mess. I think we're about to get the little seats that they can sit in during the bath since they are getting so good at holding their heads up. Oh what fun that will be to see them splash around together!

And a video is soon to come of miss Campbell Jane and her new found noises she makes. Hilarious!

Tomorrow my girls turn 6 months old, so hopefully amidst the Easter madness I can find some time to give the monthly update! :)

Bib-a-licious

Well, I can't believe it, but S & C are only a few short weeks away from...baby food! It's still so hard to believe my little sweet peas will be eating sweet peas from a spoon by the end of the month. I know next to nothing about how this whole baby food thing works, BUT I am prepared in that I have found a few cute bibs for them to spit up pureed veges onto. Oh, and Kyle and I have thought about getting their highchairs out of the attic and unpacking them out of boxes. But cute bibs are most important, right? Why do I feel it is necessary to get cute bibs you ask? Well, all of the ones we were given as gifts would probably choke the girls they are so small, and many of them had what I refer to as "cheesy sayings" on them like Never Enough Glitter or Mommy thinks I'm cute. And I happen to believe that there is such a thing as too much glitter, and no one needs a bib to state the second obvious statement.  I'm still on the lookout for other cute ones. I did find just some plain, brightly colored ones at Wal-Mart this weekend. I'm tempted to get their little initials monogrammed on them. Well, maybe that's a bit much. With all of the pictures I have a feeling we will be taking of them making funny faces/spitting out all kinds of delicious goop, I figure we should have some cute food catchers, too. My early on goal is to attempt to make their baby food. It sounds like it's cheaper and better for them, but who's to say I will figure out that's way too much work and throw in the towel. We'll see. For now, I'm just super excited to see how they react to something other than milk.

Here are a few of the cute ones I ordered for them:

Bibs found here.

I also hear these types of bibs are supposed to be good? They are a plastic-y fabric that wipes down. And I love that it's called a "super bib" and looks like it covers most of their body. The bigger the better.

And oh how this looks like so much fun. Maybe if we buy this it will make me feel committed to the task of making baby food?

I know most of you probably think I'm NUTS for being excited about dealing with two little green bean slingers, but we are ready for this next big adventure. I'm sure it will test our patience, hand/eye coordination, and duck and cover reflexes.

Bring it on!