Infertility re-visited

So this little blog of mine initially started out as something a bit different than what it has evolved into today (which, let's be honest, does it really have a "theme"?). I had always been hesitant to start a blog because I didn't believe I had anything worth writing about that others would enjoy reading. However, when Kyle and I discovered that our road to getting pregnant may be longer than we had expected, I was flooded with a million emotions. I truly just wanted a place to vent my anger, frustrations, sadness, hope, etc., and I really didn't care if anyone read it. I sent the link to my close friends and family, and they were so supportive and excited that they had a way to keep up with what was going on with us and our journey as so many of them felt bad constantly asking what the status of things were. So this leads me to another component of our journey to becoming pregnant. I was definitely not one to stand on the roof tops and shout to complete strangers that we were struggling to get pregnant, but I never lied about our situation to anyone, for several reasons. For one, I'm a terrible liar. There was no way I could have put on a happy face to my friends and given a casual answer when they inquired when Kyle and I wanted to start trying for a family. And the times that I did, it somehow made our situation worse, as though it were something to be ashamed of or secretive about. And I hated the way that felt. Secondly, I wanted people's prayers and support. I believe in the power of prayer, and ultimately, I believe, is a huge reason why we were able to finally conceive. I never wanted sympathy from people, just prayer. And lastly, and probably most importantly, I wanted my friends and maybe even their friends to know that I was here to support them should they ever have to endure a similar journey. I was blessed with someone who helped guide me through my journey, and I desperately wanted to be the same for any other woman dealing with infertility. And, interestingly enough, I have been able to be that person for a few other women.
So, why do I bring all of this up when clearly infertility is no longer an issue for me? It is something that I will forever hold dear to my heart. There are millions of women every day all over the world who feel the hurt and loss of not being about to conceive a child. I know firsthand how it feels. And while Kyle and I had only just put a toe in the water of infertility before discovering we were pregnant, many women go through years and years of anguish before finding their own miracles. I wouldn't change a single thing about our journey. Earlier this year, I would have thought I was crazy for saying that. However, looking back at the 10 months or so we endured of wondering why we couldn't get pregnant, I realized that God had some incredibly important lessons to teach me through it, and it was really a beautiful, perfect journey. And I am a much stronger, more faith-filled person because of it.
I know there are people reading this blog that I do not know, or do not know very well. Initially this made me uncomfortable because I have shared a lot of personal thoughts and feelings on here, and I didn't want random people just creeping around. I have even very seriously contemplated making it private, and may someday do so. However, I am going to try to stick to my initial plan of being open and honest about my life, and I hope if you do follow this blog, that you will officially become a follower, so I can be aware of who is reading these random posts.

I'm thankful to have finally realized the truth behind the name of this blog. So, in conclusion, I'll leave you with this... ;)
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,


And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.


I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

A little controversy to spice things up...

So it seems like in the last month or so, I have been indundated with fascinating movies/documentaries about the controversial Mormon religion. I have always been (and really, who isn't?) fascinated with extreme forms of religions (or what most would call-cults). Before I dig into this, let me just say that some of my most favorite people I have known or know are Mormons. I also realize that the majority of the "crazy" stuff we see about the religion pertains to the fundamentalist or extreme radical Mormons. I also, at one point in my life, truly pursued what the religion itself was really about as I had a very close, long-term relationship with a guy that was Mormon. I wanted to give it a fair shot before deciding that the relationship may not ever go any further. And, upon a LOT of studying and prayer, I decided that I could never fully believe in the religion, and there were too many questions I felt had no real answer, or the real answer was hidden from me in some form. To me, any religion that "hides" things from non-members is not something our God would endorse. Nonetheless, I realize that saying this may offend anyone reading this who is a member of the church. I don't apologize for my beliefs, so I guess you should perhaps stop reading at this point if you are indeed offended.

With that said, I have thoroughly enjoyed this recent overflow of Mormon entertainment. My friend, Mary, first told me about The Mormon Proposition. This is a documentary (if you wish to see it, you can rent it On Demand underneath all of the other movies section). It was an incredibly intense look at the Proposition 8 vote that happened in California, and how much the Mormon church was involved in seeing it overturned. Moreover, how secretive and shady the church was in its involvement. The idea of gay marriage is in direct contradiction of the Mormon belief of what happens in heaven. I have to say I was blown away at the horrendous and drastic measures the church has taken against homosexuals. This movie is well worth the price of the rental. And, in my opinion, a good reminder of how Jesus would never treat any individual.

If you are looking for some good sister wife entertainment, The 19th Wife is a fabulous lifetime movie (and who doesn't love a good lifetime movie?) centered around the fundamentalist Mormon communitites, and all of the horrific brainwashing that takes place in one of these. Special thanks to another Mormon-fascinated friend of mine for informing me about this movie! It has an excellent and intense plot. It's also based upon a true story from the 1800's (I think) written by one of Brigham Young's wives. And lucky you, I just discovered today that you can watch the full movie here! So if you have a few hours to indulge, you won't be sorry you did.

And, last but not least, the TV Show I am looking forward to more than any other TV Show ever-Sister Wives on TLC. As soon as you are able to, you should set your DVR to record this show at 9 pm on Sunday, September 26th. All I can say is that it looks to be everything you want in a reality show and more. One man. Three wives. And a fourth in the works. How can this disappoint? I also must credit yet another friend for informing me about this show (gosh, I'm lucky to have so many friends to share my Mormon fascination with!).

Ok, so now that I have excited you about this controversial yet intriguing topic, I hope you enjoy these features as much as I have!

Shower Fun

This past weekend was my baby shower for all of my girlfriends (if you're counting, yes, this is the THIRD shower for the girls!). We have been incredibly blessed to have so many friends and family willing to throw such wonderful showers for us. It has been unbelievable to see so many people's generosity in helping us to prepare for these girls. We will have to buy very little when it's all said and done because of what we have been given. It has been so humbling and there is no way we could ever repay our friends and family for their kindness and generosity. It was SO great to be able to see all of my closest girlfriends for a few short hours at the shower. The hostesses did such an incredible job, and I am so unbelievably grateful for these girls and their friendships. I can't imagine life without any of you. These are just a few pictures from the shower. I wish I had taken more! 

My creative and artistically gifted sister (featured in the background) makes the most precious onesies. These are just a few she made for S & C. I cannot wait for them to wear these (and hopefully many more she will make for them). Thanks Aunt Sara!



Again, credit to Aunt Sara.

Diaper cakes and real cake. Adorable and delicious (the real cake, that is).

Oh where to begin with how much I love this group of girls. I miss seeing each of your faces at school everyday, but I know our friendships go beyond the walls of the school. SO happy I got to see all of you.

And last but not least, the greatest friends and sister a girl could ask for. I love each of you dearly and cannot wait for you all to meet the girls. I can only hope they have friends as dear as each of you someday!

I guess this means we are that much closer to meeting these sweet girls. :)

Thursday Girly Fun

It's a never ending thing for me to browse cute girl stuff. Pretty much all of these finds are things the girls may not get to wear for several years, but it never hurts to plan ahead. These are some of my favorite irresistable girl pieces right now.

Every girl needs a good strand of pearls...

...and glittery flats...

...and coordinating but not matching sun dresses...(maybe for Easter, paired with the glitter flats and pearls, but who's planning?)

and life wouldn't be complete without a ponytail rubber band ball. Coming from a house with three sisters, this would have come in handy many a time.

love these feminine little bobby pins to clip bangs back with. Mom might also be able to borrow these.

and last but not least, I would love to get S & C matching little rings like this with their birthstones on it someday.

Happy Girly Thursday! :)

A New Hobby

So today I stumbled upon a new hobby. I don't consider myself a creative, crafty person, but I have been on an endless hunt for cute head accessories for the girls (that aren't obscenely overpriced like everything I see in boutiques). Oh, and also don't look cheap, huge, or disgusting. You would think this would be a not-so-difficult task, but I must be extra picky when it comes to this stuff because they are few a far between. I LOVE anything on an alligator clip made out of felt, or something equally similar (see here or here). But who knows when S & C are going to have enough hair to hold one.

So today when I was aimlessly walking around Hobby Lobby after finding the picture frame I came to get (why does this always happen), I somehow ended up in one of the scrapbooking aisles (I currently do not even scrapbook) and came across these cute little flowery things that looked very similar to the rosettes that are on some headbands I recently ordered from etsy (see above). I got this crazy idea that I could find some elastic and somehow attach them. Well, low and behold I did find some elastic and voila! I would like to find some other elastic colors, but I am pretty pleased with these for now.
                                                                                  

Aha!

I was scouring girl headbands on etsy the other day and came across this listing. I think this is such a cute alternative to headbands/bows, etc. I find many headbands/bows, etc. darling, but sometimes a bit overused. When I saw these adorable pics...

...I instantly thought of the antique hankerchief collection I have had since I was a little girl. I can't remember the exact reason I started collecting these, but I'm fairly certain I probably came across one while antique shopping with my mom and thought they were too pretty to resist. And also because I went through several "collection" phases as a young girl (my troll doll one would have impressed just about anybody). I think I have about 15 of these hankies. You might think they serve absolutely no purpose, except to sit in a box and collect dust. However, myself, my sister, and a few friends have used these on their wedding day to carry with their bouquet. And now it looks like Sophie and Campbell might get to use these in a whole new way! I hope they are cool and chic enough to pull these off when the time comes. 

At the very least, I have a small reason to hang onto the hankies for a few more years... ;) 

Happy Birthday Canon!

Two years ago tomorrow, the sweetest little boy came into this world-my nephew, Canon Jon Michael. Until his debut, I had always secretly gotten slightly annoyed when people would go on and on about their nieces and nephews. I mean, it's just a niece or nephew, it's not like it's your kid. Now, I am officially one of those people who rambles on and on about the cute things my nephew does, how adorable he is, etc. to all of my friends and even people I don't know that well-I'm quite certain, to the point of annoyance. But I just can't help it! He truly has been the light of all of our lives, and I just can't get enough of him. His sweet smile, laugh, kisses, dance moves, endless energy and "Canon language" are enough to keep us entertained for hours on end. He has made his Aunt Roo and Uncle Toddy so unbelievably excited to meet our own litte ones. It's hard to believe that we will be able to love another kiddo as much as we love him. Canon, we have loved watching you grow and change right before our eyes and hope you always know how much we "ove" and adore you! We can't wait to see the little man you grow up to be. :)