Monday, March 8, 2010

Oscar-worthy Quote

As I watched the lovely, humble, and well-deserving Sandra Bullock claim her Oscar on Sunday, I was reminded of a quote I heard once of hers that stuck with me. It's interesting that when I heard this quote of hers, I had no idea it would perhaps one day really pertain to me in the way that it does now.

Obviously, as she ages, the inevitable questions of why she and her husband have not tried to have children have come up. In response to all of it she said in an interview with Harper's Bazarre, "You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family. I'm not going to spend two seconds of my life wishing I had something I don't. It's hard to do it your way when you hear everyone else telling you to do it their way. I just want people to admit there is no one way to live your life."

It's that part where she says that she's not going to spend two seconds of her life wishing she had something she doesn't. I can't even explain why that part stuck with me when I heard it, but I think it is so very wise of her to say that, and perhaps so very relevant to my situation. Although I have every reason right now to believe that the fertility treatments I am on will help me in getting pregnant, nothing is 100% certain. While we will do everything in our power each month to make it happen, we cannot control the ultimate outcome. And, if after whatever period of time, I am not pregnant, I can't imagine wasting years of my life willing it to happen. I realize I am getting WAY ahead of myself, but it's a reality we need to prepare for. I hope I am as strong as Ms. Bullock, and that I don't waste too much of my life wishing I had something that isn't meant to be.

This past Sunday, while sitting in church, a thought came to me. As I listened to our pastor and other members of our church speak about going through unimaginable seasons of grief, I realized that my worst day with God is infinitely better than my best day without Him. And I know this because I've experienced both. When and if I am ever lucky and blessed enough to see a positive pregnancy test, that will be my best day. And I hope the first person I thank, in my own personal acceptance speech, is Him.

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