Goals can be a scary thing. Scary because the possibility exists that you won't reach it. And then that just stinks because who wants to feel like a failure? I make enough mistakes every day as a mom/wife/friend/human to make me feel like a failure, why add one or six more things to that count? I boiled mine down to things that are really important to me. Or things I've been meaning to do for awhile now, but have just been too afraid to attempt to really conquer. Perhaps sharing them will keep me more accountable and motivated to reach them? I hope so.
Momastery's most recent post really impacted me. I would have to say my first and most important goal this year would be to truly seek out experiences that fill me with beauty. To ignore the hundreds of distracting, negative, or unimportant thoughts that enter my head on a daily basis, and instead choose to seek truth and beauty, even if it's a challenge. More often than not, I find myself giving into the easier path than choosing the better, less easy one. While I was thinking about what I was going to make a priority this year, this verse popped into my head:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate to do.
Ok, so I didn't really know this whole verse by heart, just that a bible verse existed somewhere that I heard once that talked about continually doing what I don't want to do. And because that's my life in a nutshell, it stuck.
There are dozens of situations I could apply this verse to every day. I mean, this is really the story of my life.
I want to lose weight, yet I continue to do nothing different with my diet/exercise.
I want to be more engaged with my kids throughout the day, but I frequently choose other tasks over them.
I want more time to myself to pray, meditate, read, reflect, but I continue to be a lazy butt who lets my children crying be my alarm instead of setting my own.
And so on and so forth...
So here's the short list of what I'm choosing to focus on:
1. Be in bed before 10 pm during the week (I need to feel like a rebel and stay up past midnight watching trashy TV at least one night a week).
2. Wake up before my kids. Which will greatly depend on how committed I am to #1.
3. Finally lose my baby weight which is around 8-10 lbs. I really, really suck at losing weight, so this one will be tough.
4. Find time every day for prayer, reflection, and reading.
5. Spend at least 10 minutes of one-on-one time every day with each of my children/husband. I saw this idea awhile ago and it sounded super easy at first, but it's proven to take some planning.
When I look at this list, I know it's not some fleeting list of resolutions that I'll never look at again after the month of January. I think they reflect the things that are most important to me in my life, and while there is no way I will be perfect in accomplishing all of these on a regular basis, I really want to commit myself to them. In the past, I have had a habit of being really gung ho when I take on a new challenge, slacking a little, then throwing in the towel. Then being back to square one of desperately wanting my life to reflect what's in my heart, but feeling defeated once again because I'm, well, human.
So here's to living a life in 2014 (and beyond) that's full of hope, love, grace, and FUN!
Wishing you all the same. :)