Baby Steps...

Well, I sit here in my living room, feeling pretty close to 100% from my surgery this morning. I have to say that I was never really "nervous" about the surgery because it was going to be such an easy, relatively painless, procedure. Being a control freak, I was a little leery about the whole anesthesia thing. Something a bit discomforting about falling asleep and waking up with no recollection of what happened. But the drugs were good. :)
So now for the news. It turns out that I actually did NOT have a polyp in my uterus. Instead, the lining of my uterus was just very thick, so it "appeared" to be a polyp. Good news! She still removed the tissue to have it looked at just to make sure there are no cancerous or abnormal looking things about it. But Dr. Craig feels very confident it will all look good. And the best news: In just 2-3 more weeks, we are back on the baby train. Oh, and they gave me percocet. :) The one thing still gnawing at me is that when she originally told me she thought I needed the surgery, she also told me she thought that the next month of fertility treatments would require a higher dosage of drugs since it appeared the dosage I was on wasn't creating "ripe" eggs (I realize I sound like a chicken). This is the last dose of the current drug they have been giving me (femara-letrezole). If this month doesn't work, it's on to Clomid. Will I be the next octo-mom? Hmmm...well it turns out that the chances of multiples are actually much lower than most people think with drugs (less than 8%). So here's hoping I'm in the 92%!

On another positive note...we have recently hired a WONDERFUL realtor recommended to us by our good friends, the Doty's. We have already had a few showings, too! Albeit the first one was a bit unexpected (ie. we did NOT pick up the house as well as we should have that day), and I'm pretty sure Kyle's underwear were on our bathroom floor. Oops. Even though we are still awaiting an offer, I feel extremely optimistic that this wonderful woman, Linda Finch, is going to sell our home in no time.

So, still no baby, and still no SOLD sign in the yard, but I feel happier and more optimistic today than I have in awhile. A few days ago I was talking to a friend at school, explaining to her when my surgery was. She really blew me away when she replied, "I'm so excited for you." I kinda looked at her, puzzled, wondering why she would be excited for me to have surgery. To which she replied, "It's just one step closer to you getting pregnant!"
I can't say enough about my amazing family and close friends' support throughout this journey. I have seen, daily, that God puts people in our lives for reasons we don't always know until later on. From the family and friends who have refused to let me throw a pity party, and insist that I stay positive, to the ones who let me cry and worry when I need that, and cry with me, to the wonderful girl who lead me to Dr. Craig, and through this journey with PCOS. At times when I thought God had forgotten about me, these people have shown me He couldn't be more present in my life.

So, my promise to myself is that this time will not be lost on me. This will not just be a "tough time" that I look back on and think "Man, I'm glad that's over." This will forever be a time that I look back on and think, "I didn't know what You were doing God, but you did." One of my favorite verses since I was in highschool has been Romans 12:12:

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Even though I'm enduring the "baby steps" (pun intended :)) of His big plan, I'm learning a little bit more about what He means by this, and for now, I'm joyful.