Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Big Debate

I feel like the biggest blog groupie ever, and some of you are probably sick of me constantly sharing her posts on here, but she is just spot on with so many of her thoughts that I feel such a huge need to let everyone know about her. I get so excited to read her next post and wish that I was able to write as eloquently as she does on so many topics. I think every mom has many things to say about the great debate of being a stay-at-home mom vs. a working mom, and I'm no different.
Before I was a mom, and even as early as first grade (not exaggerating), I knew without a doubt that I would someday be a stay-at-home mom. My mom stayed at home with my sisters and I, so really I didn't know any different. I knew I loved coming home to my mom who would frequently have a snack for me and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood turned on ready for me to watch. Somedays we would get off the school bus to see her power-walking around the neighborhood with our neighbors (other stay at home moms). I just couldn't have imagined going to day care after school or coming home to an empty house.
Now that I am a mom, I do in fact stay at home with my girls. Wish granted. With that being said, I know without a doubt that any preconceived notions I had about what it meant to stay at home have pretty much flown out the window. It's not the charmed life I had always envisioned, I don't live a blissful, stress free life everyday, I don't believe my children are "better off" than so and so's children that go to child care everyday, and more days than not, I dream of what it would be like to have my old life of a woman with a career back. To wake up everyday with a plan, a purpose, a schedule, a boss, wearing pants that button. That's not to say I don't find it enjoyable being home with my girls. And although I've repeated the phrase "the grass is always greener" in my head a million times, I know that being a working mom would be equally, if not more, exhausting.
And I also believe that no matter which path I chose, that "mommy guilt" would be whispering in my ear on a regular basis. It's unavoidable.
I also love that she addressed the issue of what it means to be a woman, and how so many women these days thrive on beating each other up and criticizing. Every woman has dealt with this at one point or another, and I'm reminded of my friend Ashley, who always says she wishes more of us women would just "stick together" and quit ganging up on each other. I agree whole heartedly.

So please do yourself a favor and read her post on this issue HERE. There are lots of great articles out there on the issue (and I think Dr. Phil even did a show on it).

Until then, let us moms resolve to try our very hardest to find peace with our decisions and lend a helping hand to the ones around us.



  1. You are right. Great post and thanks for the shout out! This is my favorite part: My daughter is watching me AND you to learn what it means to be a woman. And I’d like her to learn that a woman’s value is determined less by her career choices and more by how she treats other women, in particular, women who are different than she is. I’d like her to learn that her strength is defined by her honesty and her ability to exist in grey areas without succumbing to masking her insecurities with generalizations or accusations. And I’d like her to learn that the only way to be both graceful and powerful is to dance among the endless definitions of the word woman… and to refuse to organize women into categories, to view ideas in black and white, or to choose sides and come out swinging. Because being a woman is not that easy, and it’s not that hard.